this really sucks...

OK, I decided I'm going to use this as a way of getting all my feelings out...kind of like a therapy I guess. I'm passed the point of sad. I'm mad. I'm mad that I'll never get to know if our babies were boys or girls. I'm mad that I'll never get to feel them move, get to hold them, get to hear their voices, or watch them grow. I'm mad that Grant will never know them. I don't understand why God would allow us to get pregnant with twins and then take them away from us. It seems so cruel. I know I'll get past this, but for now it just hurts so bad. We have a follow up appointment with my doctor on the 8th. I'm hoping that he will have some information about what he thinks maybe happened...anything for us to know and try to help understand what went wrong. Please keep us in your prayers. I need patience and peace and understanding. I need to know how to cope with this. I hate that this is the second time we've lost a pregnancy. I hate that we have to feel this loss again. It's not fair.