Crazy boys...

Benji has been out of town this week, so Melody and the boys came up to stay. Gavin and Grant have actually been playing in Grant's room a good bit of today. It's so nice to have some quiet time. Don't get me wrong, I love watching him play, but sometimes quiet is good too.

It's been a week since we found out the babies passed away. I have felt so anxious and sad all day. I keep telling myself that it will get better with time. I know that it will. It has too. I know that God will bless us again very soon...hopefully with twins again, but just healthy is all I really want. I know it's crazy to want twins again. I never thought I really wanted them, but after learning we were going to have them we both started really getting excited about a twin pregnancy. I would love to feel that excitement again.

this really sucks...

OK, I decided I'm going to use this as a way of getting all my feelings out...kind of like a therapy I guess. I'm passed the point of sad. I'm mad. I'm mad that I'll never get to know if our babies were boys or girls. I'm mad that I'll never get to feel them move, get to hold them, get to hear their voices, or watch them grow. I'm mad that Grant will never know them. I don't understand why God would allow us to get pregnant with twins and then take them away from us. It seems so cruel. I know I'll get past this, but for now it just hurts so bad. We have a follow up appointment with my doctor on the 8th. I'm hoping that he will have some information about what he thinks maybe happened...anything for us to know and try to help understand what went wrong. Please keep us in your prayers. I need patience and peace and understanding. I need to know how to cope with this. I hate that this is the second time we've lost a pregnancy. I hate that we have to feel this loss again. It's not fair.

our twins passed away

During our second obgyn appt. today we saw on ultrasound that both our babies passed away. The doctor said that when it happens in the first trimester there are tons of reasons why, but they are all based around the development of the babies. Something went wrong during their growing process and so it stopped. I will be having a d&c in the morning. Please keep us in your prayers as we go through this difficult time.

playing at the pool

I decided to take Grant to our gym pool today. This is the first time he's been to this pool this summer. He had a good time and we stayed there almost 2 hours!! He didn't want to leave!

we are back...

We had a great time in the Caymans!!! It was nice to get away, relax on the beach...and eat pretty much all day long!! Benji and I swam with the string rays our last day there. And luckily the tropical wave that passed right over us (which is now category 2 hurricane dolly) only gave us one day of rain. Every other day was nice and sunny!

from the plane going to the Caymans...

the carnage that was Lobster tails

afternoon storm through foggy lens...

our view from the porch of the condo...

viewing the beach...

Just a quick update...

Benji and I are getting ready to leave for the Cayman's! I'm excited, but really sad to leave Grant for so long. He'll be with Nana and Papaw (my parents) Monday through Saturday and then at Grammi's (Moni's) from Saturday to Tuesday. Knowing that there are twins on the way gave me a little extra boost to get excited about the trip. This will probably be our last kid free vacation for a while. :)

We'll be sure to post pictures and an update once we get back.

BTW, the twins will be 10 weeks tomorrow!!! Only 1 week and 4 days until we see them again!

expecting baby #2 AND #3

June 28, 2008

We had a HUGE surprise today when we went to the doctor. A little over a month ago we found out I was pregnant. We decided not to tell everybody until we went to the doctor and made sure everything was ok...well, everything WAS ok...times TWO!!! At this time the things we know about the babies are:

1. They both measure the same age - which was 7 weeks and 3 days on June 28.

2. Twin A, which was located on my right, had a heart rate of 146 beats per minute.

3. Twin B, which was located on my left, had a heart rate of 167 beats per minute.

4. They seem to be in seperate sacs...although that doesn't mean they couldn't be identical.

We will see them again on July 24 and we can't wait!! If they are growing as they should be, they should actually look like little babies and should measure 11 weeks and 3 days. Everything has gone perfectly with my pregnancy so far. Please keep the babies in your prayers. On July 24 I will only be a few days away from my second trimester. If the babies measure as they should on that day we should be good to go for the remainder of the pregnancy.

saying hi to daddy!

June 23, 2008

Benji has been gone for about 3 weeks now for work...so we decided to send him a picture to say hi!

Melody, Gavin and Myles visit

June 17, 2008
Melody, Gavin and Myles came to visit for a few days. Luckily Melody brought her clippers because Grant was badly in need of a haircut! He actually did really well.

Gavin was supervising...

we also caught Myles' first smile on camera...

Big boo-boo!

June 12, 2008
I got a call from Mother's Day Out today. They told me that Grant had fallen during playtime and bumped his head and they wanted me to come look at it. Well, I figured it was bad since they called...but I didn't expect it to be THIS bad!! He didn't even cry when he hit his head.